I <3 Shatner

October 2009

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This post. Everything linked in it. And every single comment.

Is what win is made of.

I have a problem.

feelin': enthralled

I never really understood the point of fanmixes until I heard

stoney321's fanmix for the character Connor from Angel. This fanmix worked for me because the songs weren't about Connor over-all; they were about specific moments in Connor's life. Maybe most fanmixes are like that (please point me to the ones that are), but the ones I've heard and seen tend to be general songs about who the character is over-all or how someone feels about a 'ship. Stoney's, OTOH, mix gave me specific things I could recognize and connect to.

There are soft, thoughtful songs about family in the beginning, at Connor's birth. Then there are loud scary songs about torture and survival, when Connor goes to a Hell dimension. But the songs have less concrete references to what was going on in these moments of the characters life, than they do interpretations of what was going on. I mean, a song doesn't have to sound like hell to be about Hell. Anyway, when I listen to this fanmix, I feel like I'm getting the story of the character, and for me it's as cool as watching the show. I love this fanmix, and am eternally grateful to Stoney for making it.

Another thing arranging the fanmix by moments in the character's life does is make the mix extremely varied. There's classical music, church music, Johnny Cash, Metallica, and Radiohead on this mix. This mix also introduced me to songs and artists and covers that I hadn't heard before. I've always wished I could have this fanmix experience for other characters I know and love, and then I started thinking--if we opened this up we could get some really diverse choices for pieces that fit a character, AND we could introduce each other to new music.

( So let's make a fanmix like this for Spock Prime. )

Tags: fanmix, idea, spock, star trek
feelin': rushed

How sad is it that

st_xi_kink closing upsets me?

It was a cool place to idea dump, which is one of my favorite things. And to mooch other people's ideas, another favorite thing. I also liked how it gave people a chance to talk about things they might otherwise be embarrassed about.

But way beyond that, this is a community to me. It's not like I got to know anyone through the meme really well, though I certainly recognize a few more lj names than I did before. But this was the place where everything was for me, where so many things started. I often have trouble getting into fandoms because I feel like I can't figure out where it's all happening, but it was always happening on the meme. Even the wank made it feel to me that okay, this is where this fandom lives.

And despite said wank, there was this definite sense of wonder. Of excitement. Of love for the fandom, for the fact of fandom itself, for strangers and writers and creators and shared interests and discussion.

And, uh. The roleplay. What oh what am I going to do with

no_ones_slave now (yes, I'm coming out; the meme is over; the time seems right)? Not that I've done anything with her for a while. But she's going to be so upset about this. Her and o-fine were going to do a kink talk show. The meme is where she met all those wonderful people.

Plus, not only did I feel like I was a part of something community-wise, it also felt, uh, history making. I know fandom history isn't much in the scheme of things, but I love fanlore, and always wanted to be in the making, as it were. To have it just go on forever, for it to just always be that Star Trek thing that went on and on--sorta like Star Trek itself--would've been really grand.

That said. Saint Anon? Still a superstar. And my mood theme is PERFECT.

Tags: star trek
feelin': sad

Title: When The Enterprise Had Kittens
Length: ~2,000
Rating: G
Summary: Kittens aboard the Enterprise.
A/N: Following in the vein of loving to see the subject of characters getting pets treated seriously, I bring you a fic inspired by this prompt on

st_xi_kink. I wrote it in about an hour, which is sort of a record for me.

( When The Enterprise Had Kittens )

Tags: fic, short fic, star trek
feelin': accomplished

I love Shatner.

feelin': enthralled

Title: Girls Are Great
Fandom: Star Trek (probably XI), Kirk/Girl!Spock, Uhura
Disclaimer: ST isn’t mine. There’s one line from Wikipedia and several choice phrases by

stultiloquentia in here.
Rating: NC-17, for explicit sex, and very dirty talk
Warnings: Porn. Meta. Porn.
Summary: Girl gets off. Girl thinks about getting off. Girl gets off again. Girl just happens to be Spock, who used to be a guy.

part 1
( Girls Are Great part 2 )

Title: Girls Are Great
Fandom: Star Trek XI, Kirk/Girl!Spock, Uhura
Disclaimer: ST isn’t mine. There’s one line from Wikipedia and several choice phrases by

my_daroga, for reactions and encouragement, and

stultiloquentia, for advice/ideas and encouragement.

Originally posted the first part of this anonymously for this prompt. I stopped when I realized just how many issues I had with what I wrote. So I added meta to the porn. Then wrote more porn.

I just have to say before I click the button that this is by far the porniest and most ridiculous thing I have ever shared with anyone ever. Anonymous commenting is always allowed in this journal.

( Girls Are Great part 1 )

Continued in part two

When I write, I do it because something in my gut needs to say something. Often with fanfic, it's saying, "I need to get these characters together!" or "I need to see what happens next!" But whatever the need is, I always get to a point in the writing where I start thinking about it. Lots of time the thinky thoughts--analysis of the need, thoughts about why this should exist, ideas about purpose--stymie my process. I suddenly have to rehaul everything I've written, because it's become more. It's not just my need to fulfill intensely personal desires any more, it is a need to say something about universal desire, about our world and myself.

To put it in fanfic terms, I start out writing crack. Then I get caught up in meta. Sometimes I start over so I can just write more crack. Sometimes I start over and just write meta. In rare instances I keep what I have and manage to turn the crack into something meta.

I've often been frustrated by this meta impulse when it comes to fanfic. It is for some people, but for me, fanfic is not that much SRS BIZNESS. It's a chance to satisfy crack impulses, which often involve porn, while my higher brain can be engaged in say, writing original fic. But that's never actually true. Fanfic always turns into SRS BIZNESS for me, whether I like it or not. As I said in my rec of One Thousand Kisses Deep by

seraphcelene, the thinkyness is fun. Fandom isn't always just about getting off; it's about analysis and our need to express our own thoughts on the thoughts of others that we consume.

I've been talking a lot to

my_daroga about this. We both feel we have Things To Say, which are thoughtful and important and could produce impressive works of well, art. But at the same time we're in this to get our rocks off--I don't even mean we're in it for the porn, but for those intensely personal needs I was talking about. It seems to me like we're both having difficulty reconciling that latter impulse with broader ideals. Which is interesting, because in the end both of these drives are still to satisfy ourselves.

So, has this ever happened to you? Start out writing "for funsies" and have it turn wicked serious? What did you do with that? Did you stop yourself from getting too serious because it's supposed to be "fun"? Or did you start something else that was more serious, or did you allow it to organically become serious? And what was your reaction to the fic changing on you like that? Is this something that only happens with fanfic? What are some links to fic you've written that turned serious somewhere in the process, and is the "transition" visible? Does it happen the other way around--you want to write something poetic and thinky, and it turns out a lark? AM I CRAZY?

I wish everyone could go read One Thousand Kisses Deep by

seraphcelene. This writer always has poetic language and vivid imagery, but when I first read this what really got to me was the concept. I did some thinking about it and suggested some things to

seraphcelene (which I took way too long on, sorry again, L), but what's remained is the core idea, which just gets me every time.

Lots of times I think of fanfic as a way to satisfy my id, or at the very least, very personal desires. In other words, "just for funsies!" Whenever it starts to get bigger and meta, I ask myself what

stultiloquentia just asked (rhetorically) in an email: why do we do this again? Then I read fics like this, and remember. Dude, this is fun.

Here, take this show about a girl kicking vampire ass. I know there was deeper thinking going on in Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It's why I liked the show; sometimes, there were consequences. In season 7, Buffy and Willow turned some couple thousand girls into Slayers. Someone on the show considered some of the consequences there; there was the Crazy Slayer in season 5 of Angel.

But what One Thousand Kisses Deep does is comes along and says, "Wait. The fuck? Let's look at how this (Slayer) identity has always been oppressive, something forced on her that causes her to struggle for a sense of self. Let's look at how much I love Buffy, and what the fuck you just did to her. Let's look at what happens when you do this to a thousand other girls. Let's look at how much I love girls, and what you just did to all of them. Let's look at Buffy/Angel, how this affects the deeply twisted psychological issues already there. Let's look at motherfucking incest, let's look at female identity and abuse of power. Let's analyze the shit out of this, because it's going to be awesome. And why not do it heartbreaking prose, because I can?*"

Let's get to work. Guys, seriously. Seriously guys. I love fandom and I love writing and I love this.

*There is little to no actual cussing in this fic. I just get excited, sometimes.

Why are there so many spiders in my bed? Seriously, there have been at least two tonight, both the size of silver dollars. Maybe it was the same one.

Spiders are cute! Just not in my bed.

feelin': spyderz!

Hello everyone. I haven't been on my journal in a while. I really miss you guys.

( Here's what I've been up to! )

So, that's me. What's up with you? *puts chin in hands, ready to listen*

feelin': sick

One day, I'd like to post about these things:

1) The lecture I heard once on how Emma is a maturation of Sense and Sensibility.
2) The Gwenyth Paltrow Emma versus the Kate Beckinsale one (*waves flag for latter*)
3) How girls in period costume with modern accoutrement make me feel funny (a la here:

)
4) Whether Romola Garai looks like Katee Sackhoff, a la the great Connor // Jackson Browne debate.
5) How I miss good old days at Republic of Pemberley.
6) Me and Jane Austen! In particular: Emma
7) My hopes for the new BBC Emma, inspired via this picspam!

Tags: fandom: jane austen
feelin': period dress makes me lustful

So, I tried to crosspost, and it didn't work :o( Who knows what new, stupid thing I'm doing wrong. I hate learning new stuff (change is bad; cavemen rock), and sorry for the spam.

ETA: at least this one worked. Okay, DW is very nice and everything; I'm sure it's very user friendly. But people should keep in mind when developing ANYTHING that they should imagine the stupidest person ever. Got it? Stupidest person EVAR? Got 'im there in ur hed? Now imagine someone stupider, and develop for them. It's just--gah, spell everything out; I won't begrudge you for baby-talking me; seriously, I won't. /rant

ETA2: Oh! And what my first testing post said was: I am now username "joy" on DW, thanks

redbrickrose. There were detailed plans for how I'd be using DW, which basically were: it shouldn't affect you at all! I hope to use it as my primary service, but I only will if there's a way to subscribe to LJ people on DW without the LJ people having to set up openids or me having to set up feeds of everyone I want to read, and I'll be crossposting for the forseeable future, so no worries.

Tags: admin
feelin': rantypants

First, thanks so much for y'all's help on my Dreamwidth questions.

I just finished watching the final ep of Battlestar Galactica, and was wondering what you all thought of it (of the ep, the show itself, and especially the last chunk that most recently aired, AKA the second half of season 4, AKA the last 10 eps). I'd love to hear your random thoughts and/or be linked to your reactions.

I'll be rooting among your journals myself, so if you're suddenly getting comments on older BSG posts, this is why!

I have Thoughts I Have Thinked, but I don't even know where to begin, so mostly I'm just sitting back a bit.

Tags: bagelstar with creamcheese, request: links
feelin': sore

I was hoping to spend my weekend researching this more, but today's the last day of my weekend and I know I won't get to it. So here are my dumb questions.

1) Those of you who do have Dreamwidth accounts already--it's because you were randomly selected in a drawing, right?
2) Do [those of you who have accounts] have invite codes?
3) What do I have to do to get an invite code from one of you?
4) Do any of you have the $200 "seed account"s?
5) Is a seed account the only way you can get an account that you never have to renew?
6) Can you get a seed account yet? Where? How?
7) What do you guys think about the seed account thing? Is it worth it?
8) If I get a paid account once the beta is over, will I get invite codes I can distribute to people?
9) On Dreamwidth, you can subscribe to people on lj and have their entries pop up on your viewing list, right? Do you have to create a subscription? For people to subscribe to my DW account, do they have to create a subscription? (The way I had to create a subscription for my ij on lj, so lj people could read my ij?)
10) If I got a different name on Dreamwidth, would you all hate me?

11) What do you guys think?

I'm still going to try to look into some of this stuff. Mostly I'm wondering what you guys think about your Dreamwidth account, and how to go about getting one myself.

ETA: if you're already over there, what's your username?

Tags: request: help
feelin': intimidated

I'm thinking again about applying to grad school, but there are several things I need to do first. One of them is figure out who the hell I can get to write recommendation letters. Most of my profs from undergrad won't remember me. The one prof I was very to died. I have another prof who could write a letter, and I my bosses at work could do one too. But I know it's good to have letters from school experience rather than work experience.

One thing I've thought about doing is taking a couple night courses. I could take a course in writing, which I'd like to work on anyway. At the same time I could try to cultivate a relationship with the professor, if that is possible at all, and maybe they will turn out to be someone who can write me a letter. But again, that's not the only reason I want to do the night course; I want to do something that will get me writing (more precisely, something that will get me finishing writing) anyway. If I did a night course in English it would be nice to get some essays written, too.

Anyway, my very stupid question is: . . . uh, what IS night school, anyway? I don't want to enroll at a school yet. But aren't there courses you can take at community colleges and universities in which you don't actually haven't to be a student? Aren't there some classes you can just sign up to take? And if so, how do you find them? Are they what is called "continuing education"? Can't you sign up for just one course without enrolling? And will you be with other people who ARE enrolled, or will you be with a bunch of other people just signed up to take that one course? And if the latter is true, will the course be crappy? Will it still be taught by a professor? Can you take a course in English or Creative Writing that isn't taught at a university or community college? Are those courses reliable? Does it depend on the course and the program, whether it's reliable or not? Why am I so clueless?

Tags: request: help
feelin': ditzy

Yay I was tagged! That's so exciting. Thanks,

ladycat777.

Tagging:

cordelianne,

minim_calibre,

jgracio,

lillianmorgan, and

gaudynight

If you've been tagged, you can (if you want) write your answers in your own LJ and replace any questions that you dislike with a new, original question.

( Questions about me meme )

Tags: david copperfield kind of crap, meme

( How I read = how I write . . . on books. And now thinky includes fun poll hijinks! )

If you want, I'd love to read about how you read, what books you mark up, how you mark them up, and why you desecrate your reading material so. (Sacrilige! Besmircher and betrayor!)

Tags: me: reflection
feelin': sick

Name: Spock of Green Gables